How to Hunt Ghosts

The following are excerpts taken from How to Hunt Ghosts by Dr. Samuel Sneed, DDS

So you've decided to hunt ghosts. Good for you--the world needs more go-getters like yourself. 

This won't be an easy task. You'll be faced with many challenges, so I hope you are prepared. Ghost hunting is not for quitters.

Are you the type of person who feels tired carrying the laundry basket up the steps--when it's empty? If so, get out. Put down my expensive ghost hunting equipment and leave my creepy bookstore. That's right, you heard me. Don't touch my EMF detector or that thing that beeps (I don't even know what the hell it's for, it just looks good)--you're outta here.

Glad that guy is gone. Now we can continue.

To begin hunting ghosts, you will need the proper equipment:

1. A puffy jacket (ghosts like cold places) and/or cape (cloak).

2. Really expensive detection devices, that you can buy from me in bulk.

3. A video camera with night-vision on it.

4. A bag of trail mix (preferably the kind with peanuts and/or M&M's or peanut M&M's)

5. NO FEAR OF GHOSTS.

* * * *

Ghosts have been around for about a hundred years. No one knows who the first ghost was, but we do know that it was probably someone white, in their late 50's, possibly with hair.

Skeptics everywhere abound with clucking tongues and wagging fingers; they scoff at the notion of ghosts. Well, if ghosts aren't real, then how do you explain THIS?:

* * * *

One time, a ghost insulted my wife.

* * * *

You are now ready to begin hunting ghosts. 

I hope you are prepared to enter the world of the supernatural, my friend! And I hope you survive!

If not, someone might just end up hunting YOU!!