MY TOP TEN MOVIES OF 2012

End of the year lists are stupid and pointless.

That said, here's one from me!

(note: everyone is saying ZERO DARK THIRTY is the bees knees, and I am dying to see it, but since it's not out here until January, I can't include it on my list, O CRUEL WORLD)

10. THE AVENGERS

THE AVENGERS is probably the worst thing Joss Whedon has ever written. But since Joss Whedon is an amazing writer, that's not such a bad thing. The plot to this film is damn simplistic and paper-thin, but Whedon gets the most out the big ensemble cast, and creates damn entertaining action scenes. Whedon also managed to do something no other filmmaker has managed to do: make THE HULK interesting.

9. THE GREY

This movie came out back at the beginning of the year, so you might have forgotten it. Let me refresh your memory: The movie is about how there is no God, and Liam Neeson fights fucking wolves. THE GREY is a dark, existential look at what it takes to survive, unless you look at it from the point of view of the wolves, then it's about a bunch of fun wolf buddies who keep running into stupid, delicious humans.

8. CHRONICLE 

Found footage movies are a dime a dozen, but CHRONICLE takes a novel concept: the found footage super hero film. There are more exciting action scenes in this very small budget flick than in 90 % of the big-budget bore fests that came out this year. Dane DeHaan gives a real breakout performance, perfectly conveying what it would be like if a socially unstable teen was suddenly presented with super powers. The last twenty minutes of this film are incredibly intense and awesome.

7. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Christopher Nolan ends his Batman trilogy with a bang. This is the weakest of the three films, and frankly there's just too much stuff crammed into the plot. That said, the movie is an incredible spectacle and a fitting end to the franchise. Tom Hardy's bizarre, brutal performance as Bane is quite a thing to behold, and Anne Hathaway has the most fun I've seen anyone have on screen all year with her kick-ass interpretation of Catwoman. Also, Michael Caine cries a lot, and it's sad.

6. LOOPER

Director Rian Johnson's debut feature was the awesome BRICK, a pulpy noir set in a modern day high school. It established him as someone to watch, and he makes good on his early promise here with LOOPER, a film that borrows from literally every other time travel science fiction film ever made and yet still manages to be fiercely original. Also, it's always nice when Bruce Willis wakes up from his walking coma to turn in a good performance every ten years.

5. THE MASTER

Paul Thomas Anderson's polarizing film is an examination of both Scientology and mental illness (WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE LOL DON'T SUE ME TOM CRUISE). A lot of critics and film goers were startled at the film, simply because it's so intense and features the most unlikeable protagonist in film history. If you can get past how bat-shit insane Joaquin Phoenix's performance is, you'll be rewarded with a remarkable and original film. And you'll also be treated to seeing Amy Adams give one of the most uncomfortable handjobs in the history of the universe.

4. THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

Hot damn, what a fun movie. A love letter to horror movie fans, CABIN IN THE WOODS takes every horror cliche in the book and embraces them lovingly, and once again, (co)writer Joss Whedon gets to kill off everyone.

3. MOONRISE KINGDOM 

In my book, Wes Anderson has never made a bad film, but MOONRISE KINGDOM may be one of his best. An incredibly charming love story about two young misfits, and hey, what do you know, there's Bruce Willis again! TWO non-sleepwalking performances in one year? Someone must have been slipping him caffeine pills. Like all Wes Anderson movies, MOONRISE KINGDOM is quirky and full of aesthetically pleasing character wardrobes, but there's an incredible heart to this film, and by the end, I was weeping at how touching it all was.

2. DJANGO UNCHAINED

Quentin Tarantino was all but written-off (by me) after the shitty DEATH PROOF, but he bounced back remarkably with INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, and here, with DJANGO UNCHAINED, he's pulled off one of the best films of his career. DJANGO is a blood-soaked, brutal, disturbing, hilarious masterpiece, with everyone giving knock-out performances. Christoph Waltz, so good in BASTERDS, is delightful here, and Leonardo DiCaprio has never played such a slimy, evil character before--and he's so damn good at it. Also, Samuel L. Jackson gives probably the best performance of his career, after coasting on fumes for the last two decades as an almost self-parody. Tarantino himself also returns to acting for a cameo, and man did he get fucking fat in the last few years.

1. LINCOLN

Much like DJANGO UNCHAINED, LINCOLN deals with the horrible institution of slavery, but with less gore and anachronistic music. Daniel Day-Lewis once again vanishes into a performance, breathing life into Abraham Lincoln. Steven Spielberg has never been more reserved in his directing, and it works wonders. What could have been a stuffy biopic is a fast-paced, inspiring and even funny look at all the hurdles Honest Abe had to jump through to finally abolish slavery. Also, he hunts vampires or something.


And just to be thorough  here are my runner-up films that were very good but didn't make the top ten: SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED   BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD, KILLING THEM SOFTLY, THE INNKEEPERS, KILLER JOE, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK, SKYFALL, ARGO.

Review: SKYFALL

SKYFALL

2012

Directed by Sam Mendes 

SKYFALL is the INSERT NUMBER HERE! James Bond film, and the third film to feature Daniel Craig as 007. Critics have been going Double-O-CRAAAAZY for this film--so how good is it? 

I'm not a huge Bond fan. I like "Goldfinger," and "Casino Royale," and the one with the gadgets! But SKYFALL is certainly one of the better Bond films, especially after the weird disaster that was QUANTUM OF SOLACE, which was about James Bond trying to stop some guy from stealing water or something. 

There are two big things SKYFALL has going for it: one, they decided to let Sam Mendes direct, and two, after the two rather dull villains of the previous Craig-Bond films, Javier Bardem turns in one of the most memorable Bond Villain performances of all time. 

Mendes brings with him master cinematographer Roger Deakins, who makes every single frame of this film look gorgeous. He also works hard to bring some fun back into the franchise. 

SKYFALL's story is one of the simplest of all the Bond films. For one thing, there's no ice hotel or invisible car. The plot is this: Creepy bad-guy Silva (Bardem) has stolen files that will reveal the identities of undercover spies. He's doing this because he has a grudge against MI6 head M (Judi Dench). Bond tries to stop him. Things blow up. Bond looks great in suits. Ralph Finnes has a badass scene where he shoots a gun. Naomie Harris is gorgeous. Bond has a spooky old family mansion. More things blow up. The End.

Oh mamma....

Of course there is more to it. The film's overall theme seems to be about how Bond (and M) just doesn't fit into the "modern world." Bond is getting old; he's lost a step or two. He drinks a lot more (and still maintains that amazing physique!) 

Mendes wisely strips everything down. While there is the usual globe-hopping and exotic locals of the Bond films, the plot is so simple that we don't get lost or bored. And who knew Mendes could film such thrilling action scenes. Unlike other action films, we can actually see what the hell is going on here. The camera doesn't shake all over the place. The stunts (for the most part) look real. 

Original Gangsta

That said, SKYFALL left me a little cold. For one thing, there's a strange disconnect with what's going on here. One of the side-effects of stripping the story down is that the stakes aren't very high. Yeah, our bad-guy Silva is clearly crazy and evil, but really he just wants to kill M. And sure, that's not good, but it doesn't really have the same effect as "WORLD DOMINATION," which is what most Bond villains are out to achieve. Bond almost feels unnecessary to the story. Anyone who is good with a gun could just as easily protect M here. 

The other problem I have with this film is that it's almost beat-for-beat an adaptation of THE DARK KNIGHT. Before the film came out, Mendes said in several interviews how heavily influenced he was by Nolan's film. Afterwards, he seemed to quiet down about this--probably because the film is just too damn similar. 

Javier Bardem is a great actor, especially when it comes to playing lunatics, but Silva is straight out of the Heath Ledger Joker Playbook. Bond has a dreary old family mansion (like Batman!). He has an old, trusty housekeeper (like Batman!) who helped raise him after his parents were killed (like Batman!). 

M takes on the Harvey Dent role as the person trying to change things who is targeted by a lunatic. Hell, Silva even has facial/mouth scars (like the Joker). Silva even lets himself get captured, just so he can pull of this big elaborate scheme (again, like the Joker.) 

You wanna know how I got this hair??

I get it; THE DARK KNIGHT was a game-changing film, so it was only natural it would influence other films. But the influence here is just a little too on-the-nose. 

All that said, I can't deny SKYFALL is a lot of fun. He may be a Joker-clone, but Silva is a really entertaining villain. A particular scene where he tries to "seduce" Bond is hilarious and incredibly well acted between Bardem and Craig. For the "final battle," Bond and co. transform his family's mansion into a Home Alone-like boobytrap factory, which results in a lot of fun scenes of nameless henchmen flipping on light switches only to end up exploding. As mentioned before, the direction and cinematography is fantastic. All of the actors are great (Dench is always good, as is Ralph Finnes; Ben Whishaw makes a nice, nerdy Q; oh, and did I mention Naomie Harris is gorgeous? Because she is).

SKYFALL also acts as a sort of "greatest hits" of the Bond franchise. I won't spoil things, but let's just say the last half of the movie is filled with fan service, from characters to vehicles.

SKYFALL is a fun film. It's entertaining, and it's never boring. Yet it somehow left me a little cold. Maybe the hype got to me; or maybe I'm just not a big enough Bond fan to get bowled over.

All in all, I give SKYFALL three Javier Bardem's out of four.

Review: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

"It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." -- Jim Gordon (by way of Charles Dickens).

The Dark Knight Rises is a beast of a movie. It had to be; they had no choice. After the phenomenal success that was The Dark Knight, Christopher Nolan and co. couldn't very well go back and make a more subtle, character study type movie like they did with Batman Begins. This was, after all, the final film in the trilogy. It had to make the crowd go wild.

Here is what I love about Christopher Nolan's films: he tries REALLY HARD. Even if you don't like his movies, you have to admit that the man will go to whatever lengths necessary to tell the story he wants to tell. He has become the master of what could be considered "intelligent popcorn films"; that is, movies that have all the flash and bang of a summer blockbuster, but also take the time to focus on the drama at hand.

I purposely waited to write this review, because it's going to have spoilers, and I'm sure at this point everyone has seen the movie. And if not, you really should--in IMAX. More on that later...

The Dark Knight Rises picks up 8 years after the events of the Dark Knight. Gotham City is a peaceful place and Batman (and Bruce Wayne) have vanished from the public eye. Bruce Wayne limps around his mansion with a goatee and a lost look, channelling Howard Hughes at his craziest. But trouble is brewing in Gotham; beneath the exterior of peace and calm lies something more sinister. 

Bruce Wayne is first snapped out of his seclusion by a cat burglar who has been robbing from the rich. She even rips off Wayne, posing as a maid to steal some pearls--and also Wayne's fingerprints. 

Bruce does some fancy computer work and discovers the name of the cat burglar: Selina Kyle. 

But Selina Kyle (aka Catwoman--although they never call her Catwoman in the movie) is small potatoes compared to what's really coming. A slimey Wayne Enterprises board member (which is a kind of employee Wayne Enterprises seems to hire a lot) named Dagget is trying to make a power grab of the floundering company. He's so determined to get what he wants that he's been bankrolling a group of mercenaries, led by the hulking, mysterious Bane.  

Of course, none of this matters to Bane. He has his own agenda--he wants to destroy Gotham, and with it, Bruce Wayne.

Thrown into the mix is Commissioner Gordon, still struggling over the cover-up about Harvey Dent's death; Miranda Tate, a philanthropist trying to help Wayne Enterprises; and a young beat cop named John Blake, who, it turns out, is more important to the story than anyone could've guessed before hand. 

I've seen The Dark Knight Rises twice so far--the first time in IMAX, the second in a "regular" theater. When I left the IMAX showing (opening night at midnight), I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was ready to proclaim "this is the best film of the trilogy!" It had totally blown me away.

But when I saw it a week later in a regular theater, my mood changed. I still loved the movie, but I was more perceptive to the flaws this time. With that in mind, I suggest anyone who is going to see this movie should plop down the extra bucks and see it in IMAX.  Nolan shot over an hours worth of footage in IMAX, and it shows. You are complete engulfed into the world of the film; the soundtrack takes you over and for nearly three hours you are in a blissful, overwhelmed mood. 

But, like I said, the Dark Knight Rises has flaws. 

The film has been surprisingly divisive amongst fans of the franchise. Some hail it as a masterpiece, others hate its guts. It's a polarizing film. I guess that's to be expected. I'm pretty sure after the Dark Knight, the fans of this franchise all had their own ideas of what the third and final Bat-Film should be. And therein lies the problem. 

The majority of complaints I've read about the film seem to be people complaining about not what was in the film, but what WASN'T. People are pissed they didn't get the movie THEY wanted. That's not how movies work, kids. 

But again, there are those flaws I mentioned. For one thing, even at nearly 3 hours, the film feels rushed. This is a good thing in the sense that the film flies by; there's almost no down time, and you never get bored. But as a result it feels like they had to condense the plot to fit it all in there. I honestly could've watched another hour of the film and still been engrossed. 

There are also some glaring editing mistakes that really should've been caught in a film this big. A scene in a court room involves Bane having one of his goons bring him Miranda Tate, but in the very next scene, she is fine and dandy and talking to Bruce. But then later we see that Bane is "holding her hostage" to get Batman to come to him. All Nolan and his editor had to do was simply move the scene with Bane calling Miranda over to a later position (or even cut that small scene entirely). Instead it's just there in your face, making you think "Why didn't they fix that?"

Matthew Modine's character, a cop named Foley, is completely useless. He's set up to sort of be the heir to Jim Gordon's job, and there's a scene near the end where Gordon chastises him to come out of hiding to fight Bane and his army. But other than that, the character is flat and serves almost no purpose, and then is killed off screen. 

I love the ending--with Alfred spotting Bruce and Selina alive and well in a cafe; however, this scene was very heavy-handedly telegraphed at the beginning of the film. Alfred talks about how he always wanted to spot Bruce at this cafe, and know that Bruce had "finally made it" out of Gotham. They might as well have had the words FORESHADOWING flashing on the screen during this scene. 

But the flaws in the film do not equal the sum of its parts. There is far more good than bad. 

The film has a long list of "best things about this film" items, but at the top of that list is Anne Hathaway's Catwoman, who steals every scene she's in. For some reason when Hathaway was announced for the part, the fanboys were PISSED. I don't know why--I have nothing against Ms. Hathaway. I find her charming and attractive. But she apparently wasn't good enough for Catwoman. Then again, Heath Ledger, when announced, wasn't "good enough" to be the Joker, and we all know how that turned out.

Hathaway's Catwoman is the only character in the film who gets to have fun. Everything else is so dark and gloomy and hopeless, but Hathaway is clearly living it up. Every sly line, every seductive look, every smart ass remark rings true. If they made a spin-off movie about Hathaway's Catwoman, I'd be first in line.

While we're talking about performances, let's talk Tom Hardy's Bane. As soon as footage started to come out with Bane, there was concern over his voice. People were saying it was hard to understand, or just goofy. Honestly I never had a problem understanding a word he said in the film, but that's me. 

Hardy is fantastic as Bane. He makes the character seem terrifying and brutal, and yet at the end, he even manages to make us feel a little sorry for the guy. Sure, he's a murderous, neck snapping, face smashing monster--but he also helped save a little girl from a prison full of lunatics! He even sheds a tear. 

The voice Hardy chooses to use is indeed strange. But I think the fact that the voice is SO DAMN WEIRD makes the character even more interesting. Who the hell in the world can you think of who has a voice like that? No one. It's just too damn weird. And that's what makes it compelling 

The always alluring Marion Cotillard is Miranda Tate, who is obviously Talia, Ra's al Ghuls daughter. I'm pretty sure as soon as she was cast in the film, every Batman fan knew exactly who she was. It wasn't surprising when she stabbed Batman in the back (literally). But when Cotillard finally goes "bad" at the end of the film, she brings a bitter iciness to the part that sells it and makes us overlook how obvious the twist is, and how underwritten the part was.

Then there's John Blake, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The film is just as much about him as it is about Batman. Not only is this about the Dark Knight rising, it's also about Blake's character rising up from just a beat cop to being something more. Gordon-Levitt does fine with the part, but like Miranda Tate, I did feel like he was a bit underwritten. The character could've used some fleshing out. 

And then of course we have series regulars Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman. Caine's Alfred is surprisingly absent for most of the film (I was not expecting that). Freeman doesn't have much to do, but he's always fun to watch. And Gary Oldman is, well, Gary Oldman. He's the coolest mother fucker on the planet and the best actor in the galaxy. 

And last but certainly not least we come to Christian Bale. Yes, Batman still has that goofy voice (again, it doesn't bother me--but that's me). But this is easily Bale's best performance of all three films. Bruce Wayne goes through so much in this movie, and Bale sells it all completely. I think Bale is a fantastic actor, but in certain movies he seems to be taking things a little TOO seriously. Here, he breathes new life into the character he's played twice before, and you can tell he's loving every minute of it. 

Hans Zimmer's music is incredible. The best of the trilogy. It's non-stop, churning, pounding music that refuses to let you catch your breath. Without it, the film wouldn't work nearly as well as it does.

The Dark Knight Trilogy is an amazing feat. It did the impossible: a good superhero trilogy. Most superhero films hit the "third movie curse", but Christopher Nolan and co. have avoided that but making the films bigger and more complex as they went along, but never losing sight of their original mission: to present Batman in a "realistic" world. It was a franchise full of amazing moments, and awful real-life tragedy. 

As a Batman fan and as a film fan, I'm grateful to Christopher Nolan for taking the character seriously, and for doing what he does best: trying REALLY HARD. 

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before Warner Brothers reboots the franchise. I highly doubt it will ever live up to what Nolan has created here with these three films. 

The Dark Knight Rises is not a perfect film, but it is a perfect ending to the universe of these films. The characters get what they deserve this time--not what they need. 

I, for one, am going to miss this franchise.

Final rating for the Dark Knight Rises: 9 out of 10 Bats. 

I'm not afraid, I'm ANGRY.

I made this; as an homage to the Assault on Precinct 13 poster. 

RISE

I really want to write a review of the Dark Knight Rises, but I think I need to see it again to get all of the details right.

For now I'll just say that I loved it. It was a perfect conclusion to the trilogy, with incredible action and emotion. Anne Hathaway totally knocked it out of the park as Catwoman, and Tom Hardy was brutal and terrifying as Bane.

Again, I need to watch it again before I form a "final opinion", but right now I think I honestly like this one the most of all three films.

Your Punishment Must Be More Severe