Friday, April 1, 2011

The Dark Knight Rises IN MY DREAMS

I had a dream last night that I was watching The Dark Knight Rises.  This isn't the first time I had a dream about it either, because I am obsessed and also a boy-man.

Anyway, in the dream Dracula was the villain. Yes, Dracula.  He had a cape, fangs, the whole deal.  Dracula apparently was sucking blood in Gotham City, and Batman had to stop it.

Anne Hathaway, as Catwoman, was only in one scene in the dream movie.  In the scene, she is getting changed into her Catwoman costume in front of a mirror, and her mirror reflection is talking to her--asking her why she does what she does.  Also, she has bruises and scars all over her back. Why?  Who knows! She's Catwoman, and I'm sick.

Almost immediately after changing into Catwoman she is arrested, and Batman comes down to the police station to bail her out of jail.  And he says "Don't let me catch you doing this again." And that is the last time she is in the "movie".

The end of the "movie" has Batman going all the way to Transylvania to confront Dracula.

The whole time I am watching this dream movie, I am thinking three thoughts:

1. At least Talia isn't in this...

2. When is Bane going to show up?

3.  This is terrible...Nolan really dropped the ball...

So Batman and Dracula meet in Dracula's castle--in the courtyard--and Batman says something along the lines of: "You're coming back to Gotham--with me--for justice, Dracula!"

And Dracula laughs and says "I don't think so!"

Dracula claps his hands, and out of the shadows comes Bane.  Yes friends, in my dream movie, Bane is Dracula's bodyguard.  Why Dracula would need a bodyguard--don't ask me!  Ask my stupid dreaming brain.

Batman and Bane begin to fight, and at that point my alarm woke me up for work.

My first thought on waking up? "Thank god that was just a dream and not the real movie..."

Side note: In the dream-movie, Dracula was played by Viggo Mortensen.  Good casting, dream. He'd make a pretty good Dracula.

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