Review: V/H/S

V/H/S

2012. Directed by: Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Radio Silence

The horror anthology film has always been a favorite of mine. And, unlike a lot of horror fans, I don’t mind the “found footage” genre of horror films. V/H/S combines both of these things and tries to breathe new life into both.

V/H/S has a fairly simply plotline: a group of Jackass-type thieves break into a spooky house to find a videotape. Instead, they find a dead old man and SEVERAL videotapes. One by one, our bumbling thieves watch a tape, each one revealing a different scary story.

Like most anthology films, it’s hit or miss. Despite being a fan of this particular subgenre, I don’t think I’ve seen a single anthology film where I’ve liked all of the stories told. So let’s break this baby down by its segments.

TAPE 56

Adam Wingard’s TAPE 56 acts as the wrap-around story—the way we get to the mini-stories within. While it has a nice atmosphere, and some really subtle, creepy moments, it’s one of the weaker entries. I’m not sure the movie even needed a wrap-around story, and as it is, TAPE 56 doesn’t really do much else than set up the premise. Which tape are our thieves looking for? Why does this old (presumably dead) man have all these VHS tapes? Who is the mysterious person who hired our thieves? Why does the ring-leader have a mustache that makes him look like a 70’s porn star? None of these questions are answered. I don’t have a problem with ambiguity, but the open-ended nature of TAPE 56 leaves a lot to be desired.

AMATEUR NIGHT

David Bruckner’s AMATEUR NIGHT is our first “tape” and follows three frat-boy types as they go out on the town to look for girls. One of the guys sports a pair of glasses that contain a hidden video camera/microphone combo.

The guys eventually end up at a bar, where they encounter a few ladies, one of them being the very weird, mousy Lily. Lily is quiet and more than a little spooky, but she seems to have the hots for our camera-man.

Eventually the friends end up back at their motel room with Lily and another girl. The other girl eventually passes out, and soon the friends learn that Lily is more than she seems…

AMATEUR NIGHT is a nice starting point. It takes a little way to find its grove—the first half of the story is truly obnoxious, as we follow these giggling, repulsive guys on their quest to get laid. But once the mysterious Lily enters the picture, things really start to pick up. I wouldn’t call this segment scary, but it’s certainly disturbing, and it’s nice to see these three assholes get pretty much what’s coming to them.

SECOND HONEYMOON

Next up we have SECOND HONEYMOON, from director Ti West. West has already made quite a name for himself in the indie horror world, having directed THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL and THE INNKEEPERS. He has a very deliberate, slow-burn style that some love and some hate. Personally I loved both of his previous movies, so I was looking forward to this entry.

SECOND HONEYMOON follows couple Sam and Stephanie as they go on a second honeymoon out west, with Stephanie filming the proceedings. Things seem rather mundane at first, but one night, there is a loud knock on their motel room door, and Sam goes to investigate.

When he comes back, he reports that the person who knocked was a strange and somewhat scary girl asking for a ride the next day. Sam of course turned her down, and the couple goes to bed.

While the couple sleep that night, the mysterious girl comes into their motel room and films them sleeping—and brandishes a switch-blade which she softly strokes against Stephanie’s flesh.

To say more would be spoiling the pretty shocking ending, but I will say this is one of the strongest entries in the film. It’s the only one that isn’t “supernatural”, but West has a real knack for “realistic” dialog. This really feels like the video-log of a real married couple, and the way he slowly builds the tension from mundane to disturbing is masterful.

TUESDAY THE 17^TH

TUESDAY THE 17^th, from Glenn McQuaid, is hands-down the weakest entry in the film, and should have been cut entirely. It has a neat premise—a sort of satirical take on slasher films (thus the cheeky title), and also the premise of a “final girl” coming back for revenge against the killer.

But the end result is rather lame, and the acting is downright atrocious here. Our “final girl”, Wendy, is so unbelievably unsympathetic and annoying that there’s no possible way we can get on her side.

When the killer shows up, for some reason he doesn’t photograph on the video camera; rather, he’s just a bunch of blurry, staticy glitchies. This is a cool effect, but it leads the viewer to ask: Why? It seems like something that the filmmaker did because he thought it was cool for the sake of being cool, and didn’t put much thought into it.

THE SICK THING THAT HAPPENED TO EMILY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER

While TUESDAY THE 17^TH is the weakest entry here, SICK THING is the most disappointing.

Emily has skype-like chats with her boyfriend James. She’s just moved into a new apartment, and pretty soon she begins to suspect it’s haunted. Also, we learn that when she was younger she had problems with self-mutilation—a problem she seems to be picking up again.

SICK THING is very well directed and acted. The skype angle—which doesn’t really make sense in a film full of VHS tapes, but whatever—works wonderfully in bringing the scares, as James (and the audience) can spot things creeping in the dark behind Emily before she notices them.

However, when the “twist” is revealed, it’s like a bunch of hot air being let out of a balloon. It’s so incredibly lame and nonsensical that it downright made me mad. Director Joe Swanberg had a great thing going here, and then, for some strange reason, decided to sabotage it completely with an ending that is, to put it bluntly, fucking stupid.

10/31/98

As the saying goes, you save the best for last, and that is certainly true with our last story, 10/31/98, directed by a group of filmmakers known as Radio Silence.

Like AMATURE NIGHT, 10/31/98 is about a group of frat-boy types, but unlike AMATURE NIGHT, the guys in this segment are likeable and funny; we actually enjoy following them around.

It’s Halloween night, and four friends are trying to find a Halloween party they were invited to. They find what they THINK is the right house, but once inside, they discover it’s empty. Or is it?

10/31/98 is both amusing and scary. It has an almost “kitchen sink” approach to it, where the filmmakers throw every haunted house cliché in the book at you, and it all works incredibly well. I certainly hope Radio Silence tackles some more horror stuff in the future, because they have a real knack for knowing what makes horror fans tick.

With a little trimming here and there V/H/S could’ve been truly fantastic. As it is, we’ll just have to settle for a mix of pretty darn good and mediocre. As far as grading the entries, here’s how I’d do it:

TAPE 56: C-
AMATEUR NIGHT: C-
SECOND HONEYMOON: A
TUESDAY THE 17^th: D-
THE SICK THING THAT HAPPENED TO EMILY WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER: C+
10/31/98: A+

V/H/S is currently available On Demand and also via Amazon Streaming. It’ll also have a limited theatrical run sometime in October. It's not excellent, but it's worth watching maybe once. 

Horror Movie Countdown to Halloween: Lake Mungo

In honor of Halloween Week, I am listing some of my favorite creep-o movies. I tried not to pick the obvious choices to add a little diversity from all the other Halloween movie lists...

Lake Mungo

When was the last time a horror movie made you feel something; not just yell out in shock, or cringe in grossness, or roll your eyes at how fucking stupid the movie was--I'm talking about actually feeling something real.

Lake Mungo is that type of horror movie.

I suppose the term "horror movie" could be used loosely to describe Lake Mungo; this isn't a movie that is trying to terrify you or make you jump in your seat. This is a movie that is a surprisingly touching, heartfelt exploration on the horror of grief and loss. But there's more to it than that.

Let's get this out of the way first: Yes, this is a "found footage" or "mockumentary" type horror movie. Like them or not, they are here to stay. Just this past weekend Paranormal Activity 3 made 1 Bajillion Trillion Dollars (sources needed), so found footage movies aren't going away any time soon.

But please, if you are one of those people who says "UGH, i hate those type of movies! Blair Witch and shit!", I implore you to give this movie a chance.

Lake Mungo takes place in Australia, and is about the death of Alice Palmer and the mysteries that surround her life, death...and after-life.

Alice is a happy seeming 16 year old who goes on a swimming trip with her family one day, and drowns. We're never told exactly how she drowned, because her family doesn't know. She was there one moment, and then the next, she was gone.

As is to be expected, the Palmer family is devastated. Mother June actually begins taking long walks late at night and breaking into people's houses. Father Russell internalizes everything and doesn't show emotion, and Alice's teenage brother Mathew begins experimenting with video-making. And it's through Mathew's new-found obsessive hobby that the family begins to suspect that while Alice may be dead, she might not be gone.

To tell you more would spoil things. What you might think is  going to be a simple ghost story turns into an expose on the nature of keeping secrets. As one of Alice's friends says during an interview, "Alice kept secrets. She kept the fact that she kept secrets a secret."  

I was raised on horror movies. At a young age I was watching movies that, quite frankly, I probably shouldn't have been watching. I suppose my 20+ years of horror film watching has numbed me a bit to being scared.

This movie scared me.

Lake Mungo seeps under your skin. It's like a cold draft in your house that slowly begins to increase to the point where it chills the very marrow of your bones. An overwhelming feeling of dread accompanies the film, and also sadness.

The more time we spend with the Palmer family, the more we like them. The performances in this movie are fantastic, because no one here seems like an actor. They all seem like real people--and they also seem like a real family.

As the film slowly unravels the details of Alice's life, I actually found myself feeling sad that she died so young. Then I had to remind myself that there is no Alice, it was just an actress playing a part. But the movie sucks you in, and you begin to forget that this is all fiction.

I can not stress this enough: If you like horror movies, and are longing for a break from terrible, generic bullshit, WATCH THIS MOVIE. It's on Netflix Instant RIGHT NOW, so if you have Netflix GO WATCH IT. 

And keep watching during the end credits--the images revealed during them will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in fear.

Review: Evil Things

Like it or not, the Found Footage aka "Mockumentary" horror sub-genre is here to stay.

I don't have a problem with this, but sometimes the results are less than perfect. The problem with found footage movies is that pretty much anyone with a camera can make them -- you don't need stars, you don't need fancy special effects; you just need a creepy setting and a well-charged battery pack.

The best of these types of movies -- in my opinion, at least -- are the indie ones, simply because it's very distracting to see a "real" actor in these movies. We need to believe these are real people--not someone we've seen in movies or on TV.

Which brings us to Evil Things.

Are you freaked yet???

Just how EVIL are these THINGS?? (OMG.....sorry).

Evil Things is about five college friends -- Miriam, Cassy, Mark, Tanya and Leo (who is a film student who is going to film the whole trip, of course) -- decided to get away for the weekend to celebrate Miriam's 21st birthday.

So they flee big bad New York City for the snowy countryside, and right away Evil Things is off to a good start, mood-wise. The cold, wet, snowy atmosphere goes a long way to setting up a truly isolated feeling.

Along their journey, the friends encounter a mysterious van. They can't see the driver, but one thing is for sure: he's a dickhead and he has very poor driving skills, which must mean he's from New Jersey.

They seemingly leave the Van Man (he doesn't have a name, so I'll call him that) behind – but, at each pit-stop they make, the van seems to turn up.

After they finally get to the house and settle in, we get to spend time with the characters, and this is one of Evil Things ' strong points. The actors never feel like they're acting; they all come across as real, average college students and --gosh darn it-- they're all pretty likable. It would have been very easy to have the characters fall into archetypal stereotypes -- the Slutty Girl! the Asshole Guy! The Stoner! -- but the film avoids that. They're just people. There's a nice little moment where the friends throw Miriam a surprise birthday party, with a cake and those annoying candles that you have to keep blowing out over and over again. This scene could've been pure cheese, but the way the actors carry themselves is believable and even a little sweet.

Looks like someone had too much pie...

The following day, the gang decides to go on a hike, which turns out to be a big mistake because they get lost for hours. This whole sequence seems a bit out of place, as it doesn't really lead to anything. It's just the characters wandering around the woods, getting freaked out and yelling.

And then they simply find the house and are fine.

However, their trouble is really just beginning, when they receive a mysterious videotape (remember those things???) on their front step, which they proceed to watch.  They discover that Van Man has a camera of his own, and he's been filming them THE ENTIRE TIME. CUE SCARE MUSIC.

So far, so good. In fact, really good. The tension really begins to builds, and the terror begins to mount, and then---

Well, I don't want to spoil things but the truth is there really isn't much to spoil. And that is the biggest weakness of the film.

Things just sort of fizzle out. There's no real payoff. I'm not saying I needed a big solution spelled out for me, but it would've been nice if there had just been....well, something. 

Evil Things is not without its charms. A big plus is the fact that unlike many other found footage movies, Leo--the character filming the friends--is using a steady-cam rig, so the camera doesn't shake and bounce around and make everyone want to throw up into their hats.

When the film works, it really works. But you can't help having the feeling that as they got closer and closer to the end, the filmmakers just sort of said, "Eh, let's just end the movie now."

Still, if you go into the film not expecting a big pay-off, you most likely won’t be disappointed. The creepy atmosphere and realistic characters might be enough to float your boat.

I liked Evil Things--but if the filmmakers had just gone a little bit further, I might have ended up loving it.

Afterthought: I have no idea why they called the movie Evil Things, because the title doesn't fit...

Evil Things website

I felt a chill...

This might be the scariest ghost video I've ever come across....