THE CONJURING

VERY excited for this film. Here's the official synopsis:

Before there was Amityville, there was Harrisville. Based on a true story described in the book House of Darkness, House of Light: The True Story by Andrea Perron, The Conjuring tells the horrifying tale of how world renowned paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren were called upon to help a family terrorized by a dark presence in a secluded farmhouse. Forced to confront a powerful demonic entity, the Warrens find themselves caught in the most terrifying case of their lives.

The Warrens are notorious for being FULL OF SHIT, but I'm not going to let that get in the way of enjoying a potentially creepy film.

The Conjuring comes out on July 19th.

Evil Dead trailer (for real this time)

I posted a bootleg a few days ago, but here's the real HD, red band deal. I gotta say, I'm excited for this.


                                                                 

What Happened to Carrie?

I am not at all against the Carrie remake. For one thing, there is real talent involved with the film. Chloe Grace Moretz, at 15 years old, is already establishing herself to be a very good actress. Plus you throw in Julianne Moore as her crazy religious mother, and you have a winning combo.

The teaser trailer for the film has hit, and in it you can see they're going for a much larger scale than Brian DePalma's original. It also looks like they might be trying to stick a little closer to the source material--in the book, Carrie doesn't just destroy the prom, she pretty much destroys the entire town.

So what do you think? Does this have potential?

Review: KILL LIST

WTF???

End of review.






Okay, I guess I should review it for real....

KILL LIST

2011

Directed by Ben Wheatley

There has been a lot of buzz about KILL LIST. Several websites I follow went out of their way to applaud the film and call it one of the best horror films of 2011. 

As is always the case when horror movies have good buzz, I was skeptical. It's not because I'm such a cynical bastard (which I am); it's just that everyone's view of what constitutes "good horror" is different. Horror, like comedy, is a very subjective genre. One fan's masterpiece is another's pile of steaming shit.

So I waited and kind of forgot about KILL LIST. And then, for some reason, it popped into my head, so I gave it a watch. 

There's no real way to review this movie without giving away spoilers, since the movie is one twist after another, so be forewarned, HERE THERE BE SPOILERS.

KILL LIST is about Jay (Neil Maskell), who has been out of work for eight months, much to the chagrin of his wife Shel (MyAnna Buring). One night, the couple has a dinner party, where Jay's old partner Gal (Michael Smiley, who is wonderful here) shows up with a date named Fiona (Emma Fryer).

During dinner, Jay has a bit of a breakdown, flipping over plates and getting into a violent argument with his wife. This is the first indication we have that Jay is not really "right in the head."

Gal takes Jay aside and tells him of a potential job, that will pay well. Jay is hesitant at first, but relents. And then we find out what kind of work these guys do: they're contract killers. 

The job seems simple, at least simple in hitman terms: kill three people: a priest, a librarian and an M.P. 

Jay and Gal have been hired by some mysterious old man who lives in a mysterious hotel and it's all very mysterious. And things get weirder from there. 

Jay finds his victims thanking him just before he kills them. He also goes off the deep-end, turning what should be simple hits into bloodbaths, much to the chagrin of Gal. 

Both men have a bad feeling about this job, and they want to back out. The mysterious old man says no: if they back out, not only will they be killed, but their families will be killed also. 

So Jay and Gal go off to kill the last person on the list, the M.P., who lives in a secluded mansion. While camping out at night, waiting for the right moment to strike, the guys witness a bizzarre cultish ritual, with naked people in masks sacrificing a young woman by hanging. It's not up until this point that KILL LIST becomes a "horror" movie. Everything preceding thi. s scene is more like a British gangster thriller. 

But when the scary stuff starts happening, it's pretty unnerving. Things slowly go batshit insane, and Jay retreats to a cabin with his wife and son to try to avoid the spooky cultists--to no such luck. 

I won't describe what happens at the end for two reasons: one is because it's much more effective if you have no idea what's coming and two is because I have no idea what the hell it means.

I'm not the type of movie-goer who needs everything spelled out for them. Sometime ambiguity can enhance a viewing experience. One of the greatest horror films of all time, Kubrick's THE SHINING, leaves a lot to the imagination, and it works.

KILL LIST is a different story. I'm not really sure if it succeeds. It's ending is shocking, and disturbing, but it also makes very little sense. I don't need all my questions answered, but a few hints might've helped. 

The film is well made; director Ben Wheatley knows how to frame a shot for maximum creep effect. The violence is brutal and graphic. The acting is good across the board, with Michael Smiley as Gal stealing every scene he's in. But KILL LIST is such an uneven film that it's hard to recommend. It doesn't seem to know what it wants to be, and suffers as a result.

I think a lot of the positive press from the film resulted in the fact that people were so caught off guard by the ending that they thought they had seen something truly remarkable, when really there's not much to KILL LIST beyond some graphic violence and one or two creepy scenes.

The Lords of Salem

I'm not really a big fan of Rob Zombie's movies.

I think he has a real visual flair, and he has it in him to direct a great film. However, he's a terrible writer, and as long as he's writing his own scripts, his films will suffer. Also: I really wish he'd stop casting his wife in lead parts.

That said, I can't help but be a little interested in The Lords of Salem, the new teaser trailer for which you can access by clicking the poster below:

So what do you think? It has a very cool, Kubrick via Eyes Wide Shut feel to it, and it gets points for using Mozart's Requiem. 

Review: SINISTER

SINISTER
2012
Directed by Scott Derrickson


It's so hard to get horror right.

"Horror" is subjective. What scares one person won't always scare another. But there is a basic structure and format to good, effective horror that when it's done right, it can send chills up the spine of even the most cynical of fans.

SINISTER is the horror film to beat this year. The year isn't over yet, but I'll go out on a limb and say that SINISTER is the scariest film of 2012. The film is brought to us by producer Jason Blum, who also produces the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY films and INSIDIOUS. He's pretty much got this thing down to a science at this point. He's even opening his own haunted house in California.

SINISTER, however, is on another level though. The PA films, and INSIDIOUS, while both containing scares, also have a level of fun silliness to them. They're like haunted houses at carnivals. You get a good scare or two, then you walk out laughing.

SINISTER isn't interested in giving you a chuckle. It wants you to leave the theater shaken. And it succeeds.

The story is about true crime writer Ellison, played by Ethan Hawke. Ten years ago he had a big hit with his true crime book "Kentucky Blood." However, ever since then, he's been chasing glory. His other books have failed, and one book even ended up helping a real killer go free.

Ellison desperately wants to recapture his fame and fortune, and he thinks he knows just how to do it. He moves his wife and children into a new house, and not just any house. As we see at the beginning of the film, in chilling detail, the house was the scene of a murder. A family was hung from a tree in the yard, and their daughter went missing. The crime was never solved.

Ellison doesn't tell his family they just moved into a murder house. He knows his wife Tracy (Juliet Rylance) will freak out--and rightfully so. So he keeps everyone in the dark as he goes about trying to solve the mystery.

However, the first night in the house, Ellison finds a box marked HOME MOVIES in the attic. The box contains film canisters as well as a Super 8 projector. He sets up a theater in his office and watches.

To his horror he discovers the films contain not only the murders of the family that lived in his house, but several other murders spread across the years. He does some digging and discovers that all the murders are similar in that they involve families killed, and one of the children missing.

This should be enough to freak anyone out, but Ellison also begins hearing strange bumps in the night. His son begins experiencing intense night terrors. His daughter draws pictures of dead girls. Scorpions, snakes and a mean looking dog invade his property. And then he notices a strange, ghoulish figure appearing in the snuff films. With the help of a local professor (played by Vincent D'Onofrio, who literally Skype's his performance in), he believes this figure might be an ancient deity named Bagul; a nasty monster who eats the souls of children.

There's a lot more going on here, but to tell you would spoil the fun. And by fun I mean dread and terror.

SINISTER is relentless in its goal to scare you. There are moments of levity here and there, but for the most part, SINISTER wants to make you uncomfortable. From its weird, jarring and haunting score to the brutal snuff films Ellison watches almost nightly, SINISTER takes hold of your nerves and pulls them in every direction possible.

Hawke does a great job carrying the film. His character, when you get right down to it, is kind of an asshole, but Hawke makes him likable and believable. His family could've been a bit more fleshed out, especially his wife, who spends most of the film either chastising Ellison or the children. But these are minor flaws and come nowhere close to derailing the story, as the film is really about Ellison and his own personal descent into terror and doubt.

Director Scott Derrickson, who has had a very spotty film career up till now, does his best work ever here. He's able to fill every angle, every shot with almost overwhelming dread. There's nothing outwardly scary about the house Ellison and his family move into, but with impenetrable darkness and shadows lurking at night, Derrickson is able to convey real unrest and unease.

The script, by Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill, is filled to the brim with creepy ideas. The writers know exactly what scares people, and they throw everything they can think of right at the audience.

SINISTER will be released wide on October 12th. It's a perfect movie for Halloween season. It's the type of horror movie that sticks with you; that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you watch it.

It's the type of horror movie that haunts you long after you've gone home from the theater, gotten into bed, and turned off all the lights.

SINISTER

Going to an advanced screening of SINISTER tonight. I'll be sure to review it after I see it. Hope it scares the BEJESUS out of me.

Horror Movie Countdown to Halloween: Lost Highway

In honor of Halloween Week, I am listing some of my favorite creep-o movies. I tried not to pick the obvious choices to add a little diversity from all the other Halloween movie lists...

Lost Highway

David Lynch’s Lost Highway is something of a test-run for his film Mulholland Drive; they both explore similar, nightmare-ish themes and storylines involving duel identities. But there’s something infinitely more disturbing and creepy about Lost Highway.

Lynch later said he realized that when he was writing the film he was subconsciously channeling the O.J. Simpson murders/trial, and that’s one way to look at things: shocking murders involving “famous” people and the mysteries behind them.

Bill Pullman, here at his Bill Pullmaniest, plays a noise-jazz musician named Fred Madison. He’s married to Renee, played by Patricia Arquette, who seems like she’s on tranquilizers during the whole film. They live in a very creepy, very modernistic house (which is actually David Lynch’s own house) with few windows and really deep, dark corners.  One day, they find a videotape on their doorstep. They watch it, and it reveals that someone has been filming their house. They think nothing of this at first—until more tapes show up, showing that whoever is filming their house is also going IN their house, and filming them while they sleep.

This is creepy enough already, but Lynch piles on their creepiness as Fred and Renee go to a party and Fred encounters the character known as The Mystery Man, played by Robert  Blake who later in real-life had his own very public O.J. Simpson-like murder trial. Blake is delightfully disturbing in the role, and his pale-white make-up aids in this. After a great/scary scene where the Mystery Man hands Fred a giant old cell phone and tells him to call his own house, where the Mystery Man ANSWERS the phone and then the one at the party and the one at the house laugh in stereo, things REALLY start going downhill for Fred, because Renee turns up dead and Fred is convicted of her murder.

 He has no memory of the murder,  but all that is moot anyway because one night Fred morphs into rebel teen Pete Dayton, played (terribly) by Balthazar Getty.

From here we try to figure out what the FUCK is going on, as Pete, formerly Fred, gets out of jail and starts having an affair with a woman named Alice, also played by Arquette. The Mystery Man pops up some more, and Robert Loggia steals nearly the whole film as whacked-out mobster Mr. Eddy—who , in keeping with the duel personality angle—might also be someone named Dick Laurent—who we are told at the beginning of the movie is dead.

Lost Highway doesn’t really make a lick of sense. Sure, you can try to figure things out, and probably get pretty close to solving the puzzle—but it doesn’t matter. The fact that things are so strange, and so out-of-left field aid in making the movie extra, extra creepy. It’s not really considered one, but this is a straight-up horror movie. Almost every scene drips with weird, sleazy menace. None of the characters seem to have souls, and also Gary Busey is in this movie, so that right there is a sign of how fucked-up things are.

Horror Movie Countdown to Halloween: Lake Mungo

In honor of Halloween Week, I am listing some of my favorite creep-o movies. I tried not to pick the obvious choices to add a little diversity from all the other Halloween movie lists...

Lake Mungo

When was the last time a horror movie made you feel something; not just yell out in shock, or cringe in grossness, or roll your eyes at how fucking stupid the movie was--I'm talking about actually feeling something real.

Lake Mungo is that type of horror movie.

I suppose the term "horror movie" could be used loosely to describe Lake Mungo; this isn't a movie that is trying to terrify you or make you jump in your seat. This is a movie that is a surprisingly touching, heartfelt exploration on the horror of grief and loss. But there's more to it than that.

Let's get this out of the way first: Yes, this is a "found footage" or "mockumentary" type horror movie. Like them or not, they are here to stay. Just this past weekend Paranormal Activity 3 made 1 Bajillion Trillion Dollars (sources needed), so found footage movies aren't going away any time soon.

But please, if you are one of those people who says "UGH, i hate those type of movies! Blair Witch and shit!", I implore you to give this movie a chance.

Lake Mungo takes place in Australia, and is about the death of Alice Palmer and the mysteries that surround her life, death...and after-life.

Alice is a happy seeming 16 year old who goes on a swimming trip with her family one day, and drowns. We're never told exactly how she drowned, because her family doesn't know. She was there one moment, and then the next, she was gone.

As is to be expected, the Palmer family is devastated. Mother June actually begins taking long walks late at night and breaking into people's houses. Father Russell internalizes everything and doesn't show emotion, and Alice's teenage brother Mathew begins experimenting with video-making. And it's through Mathew's new-found obsessive hobby that the family begins to suspect that while Alice may be dead, she might not be gone.

To tell you more would spoil things. What you might think is  going to be a simple ghost story turns into an expose on the nature of keeping secrets. As one of Alice's friends says during an interview, "Alice kept secrets. She kept the fact that she kept secrets a secret."  

I was raised on horror movies. At a young age I was watching movies that, quite frankly, I probably shouldn't have been watching. I suppose my 20+ years of horror film watching has numbed me a bit to being scared.

This movie scared me.

Lake Mungo seeps under your skin. It's like a cold draft in your house that slowly begins to increase to the point where it chills the very marrow of your bones. An overwhelming feeling of dread accompanies the film, and also sadness.

The more time we spend with the Palmer family, the more we like them. The performances in this movie are fantastic, because no one here seems like an actor. They all seem like real people--and they also seem like a real family.

As the film slowly unravels the details of Alice's life, I actually found myself feeling sad that she died so young. Then I had to remind myself that there is no Alice, it was just an actress playing a part. But the movie sucks you in, and you begin to forget that this is all fiction.

I can not stress this enough: If you like horror movies, and are longing for a break from terrible, generic bullshit, WATCH THIS MOVIE. It's on Netflix Instant RIGHT NOW, so if you have Netflix GO WATCH IT. 

And keep watching during the end credits--the images revealed during them will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up in fear.

Horror Movie Countdown to Halloween: Inside

In honor of Halloween Week, I am listing some of my favorite creep-o movies. I tried not to pick the obvious choices to add a little diversity from all the other Halloween movie lists...

Inside (À l'intérieur)

I like a gory movie as much as the next horror fan, but when horror movies rely solely on their gore-factor (cough cough Saw/Hostel cough cough), they tend to be shitty--at least in my opinion.

One exception to this rule, however, is the French film Inside. To put it bluntly, this movie is insane.

It tells the story of Sarah, who is very pregnant, and not too excited about motherhood. You see, four months ago Sarah and her husband were in a car accident, and her husband was killed. 

Now, she's all alone on a rainy Christmas Eve, moping about and looking gorgeous the way young French women do.

And then all hell breaks loose. 

A mysterious woman, played fantastically by Beatrice Dalle, shows up seemingly from nowhere. She has only one thing on her mind: getting Sarah's baby. And the only way to do that is to cut it from her belly.

Inside reaches such an astounding level of gore and violence that it becomes something of a pitch-black comedy. Just how violent is this movie going to get? you ask yourself. And the movie just keeps on hitting you, again and again.

For some strange reason, this all works. It shouldn't. In theory, such a movie should be dumb and void of any real value. But Inside is so masterfully made, and the stakes are presented in such a elevated way that you can't help but be enthralled. 

This is not a movie for everyone, but if you have a strong stomach and a great interested in being disturbed / creeped out, you will appreciate this absolutely bat-shit insane movie.

Soundtrack Saturday: Insidious

I loved Insidious. I think it's one of the best horror movies in years. And the soundtrack by Joseph Bishara is creep-tastic.

So please help yourself to some spooky goodness and listen to the opening title music. And if you haven't seen the movie yet, do so ASAP.

Click the pic to listen:

 

Soundtrack Saturday: Wolf Suite Part 1

Every Saturday I'll be posting a selection from a movie soundtrack.

Today's track is from Danny Elfman's score to the recent remake of The Wolfman. The film was a huge disappointment; it had a ton of great talent involved, but it just fell flat on its ass. The only two positives, in my opinion, were Rick Baker's fantastic werewolf makeup, and Danny Elfman's soundtrack.

It should go without saying that the soundtrack borrows (or steals, even) very heavily from Wojciech Kilar's AMAZING score for Bram Stoker's Dracula, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying it.

This track, Wolf Suite Part 1, can actually be heard now in the trailers for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, which stars Gary Oldman....who was in Bram Stoker's Dracula!!!!!  Coincidence???? Yes. Yes it is.

Click on terrified cutie Emily Blunt to hear the track:

Review: Evil Things

Like it or not, the Found Footage aka "Mockumentary" horror sub-genre is here to stay.

I don't have a problem with this, but sometimes the results are less than perfect. The problem with found footage movies is that pretty much anyone with a camera can make them -- you don't need stars, you don't need fancy special effects; you just need a creepy setting and a well-charged battery pack.

The best of these types of movies -- in my opinion, at least -- are the indie ones, simply because it's very distracting to see a "real" actor in these movies. We need to believe these are real people--not someone we've seen in movies or on TV.

Which brings us to Evil Things.

Are you freaked yet???

Just how EVIL are these THINGS?? (OMG.....sorry).

Evil Things is about five college friends -- Miriam, Cassy, Mark, Tanya and Leo (who is a film student who is going to film the whole trip, of course) -- decided to get away for the weekend to celebrate Miriam's 21st birthday.

So they flee big bad New York City for the snowy countryside, and right away Evil Things is off to a good start, mood-wise. The cold, wet, snowy atmosphere goes a long way to setting up a truly isolated feeling.

Along their journey, the friends encounter a mysterious van. They can't see the driver, but one thing is for sure: he's a dickhead and he has very poor driving skills, which must mean he's from New Jersey.

They seemingly leave the Van Man (he doesn't have a name, so I'll call him that) behind – but, at each pit-stop they make, the van seems to turn up.

After they finally get to the house and settle in, we get to spend time with the characters, and this is one of Evil Things ' strong points. The actors never feel like they're acting; they all come across as real, average college students and --gosh darn it-- they're all pretty likable. It would have been very easy to have the characters fall into archetypal stereotypes -- the Slutty Girl! the Asshole Guy! The Stoner! -- but the film avoids that. They're just people. There's a nice little moment where the friends throw Miriam a surprise birthday party, with a cake and those annoying candles that you have to keep blowing out over and over again. This scene could've been pure cheese, but the way the actors carry themselves is believable and even a little sweet.

Looks like someone had too much pie...

The following day, the gang decides to go on a hike, which turns out to be a big mistake because they get lost for hours. This whole sequence seems a bit out of place, as it doesn't really lead to anything. It's just the characters wandering around the woods, getting freaked out and yelling.

And then they simply find the house and are fine.

However, their trouble is really just beginning, when they receive a mysterious videotape (remember those things???) on their front step, which they proceed to watch.  They discover that Van Man has a camera of his own, and he's been filming them THE ENTIRE TIME. CUE SCARE MUSIC.

So far, so good. In fact, really good. The tension really begins to builds, and the terror begins to mount, and then---

Well, I don't want to spoil things but the truth is there really isn't much to spoil. And that is the biggest weakness of the film.

Things just sort of fizzle out. There's no real payoff. I'm not saying I needed a big solution spelled out for me, but it would've been nice if there had just been....well, something. 

Evil Things is not without its charms. A big plus is the fact that unlike many other found footage movies, Leo--the character filming the friends--is using a steady-cam rig, so the camera doesn't shake and bounce around and make everyone want to throw up into their hats.

When the film works, it really works. But you can't help having the feeling that as they got closer and closer to the end, the filmmakers just sort of said, "Eh, let's just end the movie now."

Still, if you go into the film not expecting a big pay-off, you most likely won’t be disappointed. The creepy atmosphere and realistic characters might be enough to float your boat.

I liked Evil Things--but if the filmmakers had just gone a little bit further, I might have ended up loving it.

Afterthought: I have no idea why they called the movie Evil Things, because the title doesn't fit...

Evil Things website